I have spent the last several days (several hours a day) reading new blogs. Well, they are not
‘new’, just new to me. And the one thing that many of these precious women have in common is the death of a baby. I can’t seem to help myself ~ I am like a moth drawn to a flame. I what to hear their stories, each and every one, but it has made me exhausted. I don’t know why “NOW” I have this need this desire to find these women ~ sisters in loss and grief ~ but I do.
Some of these women, like myself, are expecting again. These blogs are a mix of emotion…just like mine. I was reading one post in particular and as I made a comment on her blog…it struck me. This is what it feels like ~ I finally was able to put into words what Pregnancy after a loss feels like to me. Here is what I said ~
“Pregnancy after loss is like walking a tightrope over hell. You desperately try and find your balance in the present ~ the real world of now ~ all the while you are terrified that you are going to fall into hell again!”
There is just something about being able to put words to my feelings….makes me feel better somehow to express them.
On another note, I can’t ….stop…sneezing! Full body racking, back of the nose and throat, loud repetitive sneezing. I have NO IDEA why, and it is inturupting my painting, which is ‘my time.’ It is very hard to balance on that previously mentioned tightrope while sneezing!