This is the day. The day once a year where I get to fall apart. Five years ago, right around this very time of day I knew you were gone. And even still, this day seems to take me by surprise each year ~ the day before your birthday. Because your life and death were both so fast and complex. Short and beyond words.
Your life changed mine.
And I ache for you, I do.
I still see little 5 year old girls and think, Amelia would be doing that or saying this. It is all just so surreal. And now that we are in a new town, no one knows you and it kills me. No one is going to ask if I am alright or say that they remember you with me. Not here. No one knows us, so they don’t know you. And that makes me sad ~ seeing this square on the calendar that celebrates you still, but without you here.
I am betting that we may get a few stares as we release balloons this year. I am sure a neighbor may look outside their window and wonder why pink balloons are floating up to heaven. Well, I hope they ask ~ because I won’t hesitate to tell them all about you.