Elation. Accomplishment. Relief. Exhaustion. Hopefulness. Joy.
When my creative heart blooms and I am able to translate what is in my head onto paper ~ I feel all these emotions.
I am just so grateful that I can birth my idea and see it come to life! And there is really something amazing in the journey of it all. An almost miraculous harmony that I get to feel. Like God is saying “This is why I have given you this gift”. And for a moment, I sit contentedly. Feeling purposeful and productive because I listened to the whisper and gave it a voice.
Heartbroken. Sad. Darkness. Sorrow. Pain. Ache.
And then I am contacted by a mother who needs this creation. I get beautiful supportive responses from women who tell me that they wish they had something as precious for their children. And I immediately swing to that moment two and a half years ago, when I would give anything to have my baby girl here and return this gift. I would ever so gratefully thank God for this talent, but respectfully decline and ask to have Amelia back.
I know I don’t get to choose, but I really wish I could.
And in the wake of these mixed emotions, I carry a feeling of pride that I can, at the very least, use the gift well. Being a steward was never so hard.
Oh Stephanie,
You are using your gift VERY well!! You are helping many, many people with broken hearts. For that, I thank you from the bottom of my heart!! I treasure the one piece of jewlery I was able to purchase from you. It means more to me than I could ever describe.
I understand what you mean and I sure wish you could return your gift too if it could mean that you could have your beautiful Amelia back in your arms. We lit a candle for that precious baby girl last night. By me she will NEVER be forgotten! This I promise you! You can see pictures of our wave of light on my blog if you would like to.
God bless you my friend. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Love,
Mary