Grief is flooding over me. Disbelief. Shock.
I can’t always keep up with the loss community these days. One of the many reasons is because I am in a different part of this grief journey. The other part is that it is difficult to be so present in fresh grief. I try my best, but I have to protect my heart sometimes and distance myself a bit in order to survive. I am not built to compartmentalize things very well and when I hear of someone’s pain, it effects me. Some days, all real life for me stops and I have to just sit and cry.
Sometimes I think that things will change. That God will say “okay, you get a free pass forever, no more bad things will happen” but as I know all too well, that isn’t reality in our world.
There will always be more horror stories, always be parents forever joining this horrible nightmare. This week I have heard of more heartbreak as three more families have been hit hard and had to bury their children.
One family has lost their baby girl to a disease after a five month battle with spinal muscular atrophy (SMA). Another family had a tragic accident when their 2 year old was found in their pool. And finally, a family who had already experienced the loss of their first and only child, was joyfully awaiting their rainbow baby girl only to have tragedy visit again as the baby died in utero from a rupture only days away from a scheduled c-section.
These stories are not mine, but belong to others . . . yet the pain it triggers for me is all too personal. I will never understand this world and why children leave it so soon. I ache for each of these precious families who I know are all most likely walking around like zombies right now. Shuffling from moment to moment, trying to grasp at their next breath and hoping for the moment they can wake up from the nightmare.
Please pray for each family and the countless others that are experiencing this devastation. God, cover them with your love and grace. Give them tangible things to hold onto in the hardest of moments. Never leave their sides and wrap each in your warm embrace. Please protect them from senseless and hurtful comments. Guard their hearts and show them that you weep with them and hold their children safely when they cannot. Amen.