There are days when that old familiar feeling of dread wraps me up in its arms. The ice pit in my stomach won’t let me eat and the fog in my brain mutes the world out. There are days when getting out of bed is nearly impossible and thinking of anything else but surviving until bedtime is like an Olympic event. These are the days that I dread because they seem to settle in like an unwelcome guest unaware that it is past time for them to leave.
I know what has brought this particularly hard day on. Stories. Stories of tragic and horrible things that continue to happen in the world and close to home. Yesterday, I learned that a 6 yo boy in CT was killed when he accidentally was pulled into a wood chipper, helping his dad. The father had all three of his children with him on a job site (Easter break) and turned his back for a moment. That is all it took. The little boys siblings witnessed this.
I can’t stop crying about it. Just thinking of how this father is now having to cope and what this mother must have done when she got the call. No one could have guess that as this happy family left in the morning that their lives would be forever changed. It just chills me to the core.
Last weekend, my husband was outside clearing the much needed debris from our yard. A neighbor and he went in to rent the equipment ~ a cherry picker and a wood chipper. My children were outside bringing branches to them. I didn’t like the idea of them helping, but they did. All my babies are safe, but this poor family can’t say the same.
This feeling that I have been carrying around with me for the past two days is a reminder that life is unfair and tragic often leading us into the false idea that we are in control. Swiftly things can change and you sit in shocked silence just trying to let it register. I know what the days after Amelia’s death were like for us, I can only pray that this family is being loved and protected. I pray they are given everything they need in each moment. I pray that they have a relationship with God, because I can’t imagine going through the loss of a child without faith.